The Five Love Languages of Children (by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell)

Finding and learning to speak love in your child's primary love language will go a long way to helping them feel they are loved and a priority in your life. So learn what makes your child feel loved, and then watch your relationship with them grow as you practice that specific love language.

Words of Affirmation: In this language, people need to hear compliments; to be "stroked" by the words of others.
If your child has Words of Affirmation as his primary love language, criticism cuts deep. If you need to correct him, be specific as to what you want him or her to change, but make sure you include positive and loving words. Compliment your child often; Call attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging their unique perspective on an important topic. If a child listens for "Words of Affirmation," offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

Quality Time: People who hear love by quality time know they are loved when people spend time with them-listening, walking, talking, going on trips.
For those children who hear love through Quality Time, there is no good alternative to spending time together. Go on a walk, to the gym, or on a car ride. When she asks you to take her somewhere or come see something she has been working on, make the effort to do it and make it a priority.

Physical Touch: People who hear love in this way need to be touched; hugged, sitting close together, back rubs, and such. I recently attended a parade, and along the sideline of the parade were three young female adults walking along with a sign, "Free Hugs." These were physical touch people.
Children who receive love through Physical Touch will appreciate cuddle time-maybe a story, singing songs together, or just sitting close watching a movie or playing a game. Boys who appreciate physical touch will enjoy a little wrestling match. When they get a little older, the same physical approaches may not work or may be uncomfortable. But an occasional hug, a touch on their shoulder or arm, or a pat on the back will be appropriate.

Receiving Gifts: Like my daughter, people who speak this love language need to receive thoughtful and personal gifts-not necessarily expensive, but individual.
If your child receives love through Receiving Gifts, consider the occasional card, a balloon bouquet left at a school locker or putting a treat in their school backpack. Make sure you express your love verbally or in writing with the gift. This can be overdone and thus become meaningless; but remembering his or her love language with occasional and personal gifts will create good loving experiences.

Acts of Service: With this love language, people hear love through others giving them acts of service-making the bed, cleaning the bathroom, doing a chore that they dislike.
Children who have Acts of Service as a love language will best appreciate your doing little things for them. If they dislike doing the dishes, get up and do the dishes, and tell her that you love her while you do it. If she has a special interest, learn more about it so you can participate with her. Anything that is a sacrifice of time on your part will be a loving message.

Chapman suggests that we try all five and see what sticks. But he also recommends that we watch how they show love to others to see what language works for them. For example, if your child is constantly doing little things for others, it is safe to try to use the acts of service language. If you have a child who wants to come jump in your lap and cuddle, physical touch is likely their principle love language. So try to be observant and pay attention to how they best respond.

Church Spotlight

Sharon Govero, the Disciplemaking Ministries Coordinator for Bloomingdale Alliance Church in Bloomingdale, GA, writes about implementing DiscipleLand for both weekend and midweek ministries.Go to the Church Spotlight

Free Tool—"Random Kindness Generators"

This fun, creative tool sparks ideas about how to show Jesus' love to others. Just cut out and assemble!

Download "Random Kindness Generators" (size: 91KB, pdf format)

Kids Need Love

(John 13:34-35; 1 John 4:7-8)

The Situation: Kids wonder, "Does anyone really love me?" Children are aware that human love often comes with conditions and exceptions. They hear about people who are passionately "in love" who soon find themselves infatuated with someone else. They are often exposed to selfish, performance-based love that's "here today, gone tomorrow."

The Solution: God's unconditional love is selfless; it remains constant regardless of circumstances. Love is the disciplined will and resolve to seek the welfare of others. In the Bible, love is not a feeling or emotion; it is something we see in action. Love has arms and legs that serve. Selfless love motivated Jesus Christ to abandon heaven's glory. Love kept Him on the cross, paying for the sins of His beloved.

What You Can Do: Dispense generous dosages of selfless, unconditional love to your kids. They need undiluted affection that consistently mirrors the qualities described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Tell your children that God loves them-and you do, too. Validate the presence of God within you by finding ways to express love to them.

Discipleship Tip

Children (and most adults for that matter) need constant reminding that love is an action, a choice. Movies, television, and other media teach that love is merely an emotion, something we are supposed to feel. But this is a pale imitation of the deep, abiding, and active love the Father has for His children. Jesus emphasized loving God with all our hearts...and our minds, our souls, our strength. Look for and point out examples of active love to your kids. Model a love that serves others humbly but decisively. Show children why-when looking to faith, hope, and love-love is the greatest.

KidTrendz

The FDA partnered with the Cartoon Network in an ad campaign titled “Spot the Block” which is designed to teach youths ages 9-13 to look for (spot) and use the Nutrition Facts label (the block) to help them make wise food choices. The kids are taught to take three steps in deciding what to eat: 1) Check out the serving size as a package may contain more than one serving, 2) Consider the calories, and 3) Choose nutrients wisely. The ad campaign encourages its young viewers to choose foods that are lower in some fats, cholesterol, sodium, and sugars, while also looking for foods that are higher in potassium, fiver, Vitamins A and C, calcium, and iron. An additional part of the ad campaign, set to launch in late 2007, will be directed at parents as role models for their children.

See more about the ad campaign at www.spottheblock.com.

Originally published in January/February 2008 issue of K! Magazine, copyright 2008, KidzMatter Inc. USed with permission.

Product News

Bible Cards
Each Bible card displays beautiful Bible art on one side and includes questions on the other that provoke discussion about the Bible stories. Great as rewards, reminders, or incentives.

Bible card features:

• Collectible cards with classic Bible art
• Bible passage review questions
• Twelve cards per student (one for each DiscipleLand lesson)
• Packaged in sets of 12 cards (and 2 Bible bookmarks) for 10 children.

The regular price for the Bible Cards is $9.95 per set. The web special price for February/March is $6.50 per set.
Please visit DiscipleLand.com/biblecards to order these cards.

DiscipleLand Training on the Road

We hope to see you in:

Dick Crider, DiscipleLand Training Consultant, has several weekends available for a Spring Training. Please contact him if you are interested. 877-416-3742

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